I only just took notice of British comedians, and have only been acquainted to Russell and Noel's comedic genius this past month. Yes, apparently, I've been living under a rock.
As a new fan, I would greatly appreciate people sharing with me works from either comic. <333
Here's my little contribution:
Title: Drabbles (Inside of You, Strip, Arithmetic, Clarity, Apologies, and Blindfold)
Word count: 1,188
Disclaimer: I "don't" own them.
Inside of You
Noel swayed his head to the soft beat, not caring how moronic he may look to the other passengers of the stuffed limo. His fingers traced lazy patterns on his leather covered thighs, dancing to a rhythm only he could hear.
Russell’s song seemed out of place in his iPod playlists, yet Noel found himself choosing the song often in the past few days. It relaxed him in ways he had given up trying to reason. There need be no other explanation aside from Russell.
Russell. Inside of you…
He missed his friend, who was so busy with a blossoming career across the pond. Noel could barely get a hold of him, except for an odd text message or two.
Noel felt himself being shaken out of his reverie. He opened his eyes, not even noticing when he had closed them. He found his bright, blue eyes looking back at Julian’s own questioning ones. He shrugged and tore the earplugs from his ears. They’ve arrived at the party.
Russell let out a cackle, throwing his head back in glee and astonishment. In front of him, an unbelievable sight there was. Noel Fielding, his partner in crime, was performing a clumsy, drunken strip show. In the background, a slutty song played that Noel had picked.
After the party, in which Noel was properly smashed from, Russell had chosen to sacrifice the rest of his night to attend to his inebriated friend.
“Like what you see, Russss?” Noel slurred, expertly kicking his discarded shirt at Russell’s face.
“I’m utterly enamored, Noel.” Russell replied half-jokingly. As much as he saw the humor in the situation, a tiny part of him could barely resist eyeing the smooth, pale skin being revealed in front of him. Like a piece of chocolate covered sweet being unwrapped in front of an obese little boy.
“Y-you want this asssss much assss I do…” Noel teased, blue, doe eyes sparkling.
“I do, do I?” Russell kidded, in a hard attempt to keep the mood light.
Noel nodded seductively, though his intoxicated state made it look like a bobble, and began to walk slowly towards his friend sitting on his couch. He took his time, taking bits of his clothing off on the way. His hips gyrated to the harsh beats of the song, enjoying the strain on Russell’s smile. The hetero wouldn’t know what hit him.
“Noel…” Russell said warningly as the other man was barely a foot away from his wide open thighs. “Don’t –Oh, FUCK!”
Russell screamed in horror as Noel vomited dinner, lunch, and breakfast all over his leather, tight trousers. Noel turned to give him a sheepish look before passing out on the carpet.
“I liked ‘em trousers…” Russell thought.
“Twelve, fourteen, twenty-three…” Noelgroaned. Those were the numbers of accidental touches, inappropriate hand straying, and suggestive glances between him and Russell so far throughout the taping.
The close proximity afforded to them by their positioning did not help either. Noel could only blame himself for each and every one, though Russell had a part in it. The other one was the sex addict. Thus, Noel had to be the reasonable one. Russell was the heterosexual man who was utterly disgusted by homosexual acts if he must engage in them. Noel was the better knowing of them, so he was responsible of keeping their tight friendship intact by making sure nothing got too out of hand. Noel has arguably taken on too much, but Russell was always worth it.
Then, Russell leans in to whisper a joke. Noel‘s ear flushes at the hot breath, minty and musky.
“One…” Noel mentally counts, starting a new category for intimate whispers.
The moment of clarity came in an absolute rush. In that epiphany-filled second, Russell finally understood what he wanted, needed. Months of casual flirting, harmless innuendos, and bouts of unexplained heart-thumping moments had come to an end. It didn’t mean that he was gay, nor did it mean anything else about his mentality. It only meant that he liked Noel, more than as a friend.
Having established the voice in his head that wanted the best for him, Russell knew he could trust this certain intuition. As a bit of encouragement, he reminded himself of Ben Stein’s words; “The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.”
Russell, more determined than ever, excused himself from the room full of cast and crew and ran to the nearest lavatory. He quickly plucked out his phone from his jeans’ pocket, and called the subject of his desire.
“Hello?” a soft, hurried voice greeted him. “Russell?”
Russell felt his resolution fade away, his ear-reaching smile disappear.
“Oh, hello, Julian,” Russell chirped mockingly. “Would you happen to know where Noel is?”
A nervous chuckle answered him. “H-he’s…sleeping.”
“Right, sorry. Tell him I called, yeah?”
Russell hastily ended the call, not bothering to wait for the reply. He had already gotten his answer.
A cloud of silence encased them, preceded by glances and sighs.
“This would be easier if I could just get you drunk…” Noel said, shattering the peace.
Russell chuckled, “Could you really? Take advantage of me like that, I mean?”
“I don’t reckon I would,” Noel smiled prettily. “But having the option seems quite nice.”
Russell smiled back, another quiet cloud overtaking them.
“I’m sorry…” Russell whispered, barely loud enough for Noel to catch it.
Noel sighed. “I know.”
“Don’t peak…” Noel whispered into Russell’s ear, unnecessarily pressing his glossy lips against the taller man’s ear.
Russell nodded hesitantly, his hands itching to rip the black, satin blindfold from his head covering his eyes. He was utterly blind, and being led by Noel to god-knows-where. A part of him was truly scared for what he knew was about to occur. The other half of him was deliciously eager for whatever Noel had in mind for him.
Russell could feel Noel’s smirking lips against the nape of his neck. Blood rushed to his head. No, the other one.
“Mmm, keep walking, Russell…” Noel murmured, his hand falling shamelessly down Russell’s back to guide the taller man to their destination.
“Noel…” Russell didn’t mean to let it out as a moan, yet it did. The teasing fingers massaging his arse were arousing him, as much as they were terrifying him.
“Nearly there, mate…” Noel replied, slapping the round bum lightly.
Russell gulped comically, though finding no humor in the situation. He chose to concentrate on his calculated steps, lest Noel gave faulty instructions that would lead him to trip. Noel laughed breathlessly at this, earning Russell a soft kiss on the arch of his shoulders.
Finally, they came to a stop. Russell wrinkled his brows, unable to determine their location without the sense of sight.
“Where are we, Noel?”
Noel chuckled, and untied the blindfold.
Noel thought he saw a bit of disappointment on Russell’s face as the taller man was greeted with a banner, a cake, and a room full of his friends. He must have imagined it…